The Pause to Awaken – A Conversation with Marcus Aurelius

K: Good morning, Papou.

I see him waiting in the chair and it feels like I surprised him a little bit with my greeting. 

M: Oh, I was hoping. I was hopeful. Good morning, little one.

K: How’s things for the philosopher?

M: Very well. Things are very well. Things are as they are ought to be. (thinks) There is somewhat of a…heightened awareness…landscape these days, isn’t there? It’s as if a curtain is opening very slowly and letting in the light. There are less questions and more…how would I say this to you…trust.

K: You think there is more trust?

M: There is much more trust moving forward. More than there used to be. It’s as if there has been a collective sigh…as if a prayer has been heard. Do you know the feeling?

K: I do. I know that feeling where…if feels more like a validation than anything else. It’s like…someone can finally relax after knowing everything is going to be okay.

M: This is it. This is it. (wags his finger at me while his brain whirls) This is what is being witnessed in so many realms and within those lines that people call time.

K: Where do you fit into all of that?

M: I fit everywhere.

K: Does everyone?

M: Yes. They do…very much. I think…(sits back and thinks) separation is an idea that has stemmed from the great wars. It’s been a binding around the human race since the galactic wars.

K: You are talking about the galactic wars?

M: (looks surprised that I would say it) Of course. Why wouldn’t I. It’s just as much a piece of history of earth as I was. Goodness…if they didn’t happen, your planet would not be where it is today? It’s how the pages turned.

K: Maybe we would have been further along if they didn’t happen?

M: Heaven’s no. You would not. Did you ever consider the possibility that the galactic wars were required to create a surge of remembrance…of awakening at this moment in your time?

K: I can’t believe we’re talking about the galactic wars. I’m sitting here with Marcus Aurelius and talking about alien warfare. This is unbelievable.

M: Alien warfare was the creation of human warfare. If it didn’t happen in the skies, it would not have happened on earth. It wouldn’t have been an idea because humans would not have been taught.

K: And isn’t that a good thing?

M: To understand the concept that there is no right or wrong, the experience of right and wrong is important to have.

K: Do you feel the same way now that Mintaka no longer exists?

M: (sits back, heavily) As much as that destruction…cost…little one, there is a blueprint that cannot be changed. Mintaka fell, Lemuria fell, Atlantis fell. That does not mean Earth fell. Mintaka’s energy moved just as Lemuria’s energy moved. The energy…the spirit stayed…the body moved.

K: Still…

M: I understand the hesitancy of…forgiving what has been but you do not have to insist on carrying the past around with you. No one does. And it’s simple because of what has come from these dire situations. Foundations must crack for the wiser to be born. If not, the wisdom fails to show.

K: Do you excuse the past?

M: I do not make excuses for the past, my love. I understand the past. Do you believe that I excuse my actions as emperor? That I feel that self-absorbed that I would simply dismiss it all?

K: Do you?

M: (shakes his head) I don’t excuse them. I forgive them for I lived learning through my actions and understanding what was necessary and what was not. I could only do that while living through the experience of being emperor. I could not know Rome as intimately as I did if I did not know or take part in building or destroying aspects of that. I learned. I had many lessons, and, to this day, those lessons continue to be shared…somewhat as a legacy.

K: What is more meaningful to you? Your legacy as Marcus or your legacy as the celestial and seeing everything…all the lives and connections that were built from that.

M: My legacy as Marcus cannot hold a candle to my legacy as who you know as Papou. It never could. It is but a small part.

K: Yes.

M: But the ripple of the small part is the tsunami of the celestial. The impact is great. The impact is profound.

I see what he’s saying and it’s breathtaking. Like all these star systems feeling the wave of the action that someone did in their everyday living on earth.

K: Wow. That’s cool.

M: It is the same as awakening.

K: How so?

M: Those who know of the great awakening…the possibility of a great awakening, fight to make that happen. The awakening is pursued. They do not allow the awakening to pursue them.

K: Interesting.

M: Did you know, little one, that when I lived, it was in the pause…the quiet moments that I learned the most…that I realized my actions…good or bad…and their outcomes. It was not during the wars. It was not during council. It was not during…ridiculous parading or speeches to those who only listened in the moment and did not carry my words with them. It was during the moments that I was…alone. That I thought back and reviewed and made points…one or two…or five…(looks at me and pauses) sentences. That is where the wisdom came. That is where I was awakened. It was during the pause and the reflection. You know what reflection does?

K: What’s that?

M: It opens the door. Sometimes only a crack and sometimes very wide. The pause is a gentle invitation for the experience to open and invite the wisdom that it held. It’s the same with awakening. It’s in the pause. It’s never in the action. When people fight or chase the awakening and demand it happen, it will never happen. Awakening can only happen when the person is still and reviews…reflects…on themselves…their personal books of life and never on an outside world unless it’s the part they play within the outside world. The world will only awaken when the one person invites it towards them. (smiles) It is like courting.

K: What do you mean? Like dating?

M: Yes. Someone is interested in another and pursues with swift and constant attention.

K: Creepy stalking will get nowhere. Gross.

M: Precisely. However, if they simply left a breadcrumb. I polite greeting. I look…a smile…a gesture and allowed that to bloom as if planting a seed. What would happen?

K: It would create curiosity, probably. Like…oooo…he’s cute. I want to know more.

M: But he’s not actively pursuing you. He is…introducing…making introductions and leaving the door open…if you are interested. It’s respectful.

K: Yes.

M: If he was intense in his chasing, you would slam that door.

K: (laughing) I would.

M: Same with awakening. The chase is to prepare. The pause allows it to happen.

K: I can feel that because when I started this, I was all action, action, action. I have to do this. I have to write this. I have to eat this. I have to meditate…I have to listen to sounds. I have to, have to, have to. I got tired. Dude! I got so tired.

M: Mmmm…and now?

K: I can breathe. It feels like you were saying before…that collective sigh.

M: Do you know…faith…when someone falls into a feeling of trust…because that is what faith is. It is trust. So much becomes available. So much simply…falls into place. So much begins to make sense. Faith, when falling into faith, everything that is distorted falls away. One is seen as they are. One is lit from above and they are lit from within. The heavens open and angels are allowed to proceed with their directives…from you. How wonderful an awakening feels.

K: Do you believe that there is one big awakening or is it like…oh wow.

He’s showing me the higher self and all of the facets of it but still the one.

M: There are many and the many create the whole.

K: That is huge. Because there is still this idea that it’s this one big, awakened moment but I kind of feel like it’s a chain reaction.

M: Awakening is simply the understanding. It is simply the moment of…oh (snaps)…I get it now. And there are many of those moments. It is rarely that someone is now able to float or fly. It is rarely someone becomes a superhuman because they already are that. They just remember how to do it. Why can’t a moment of clarity be enough of an awakening?

K: I think clarity can become so much more than the moment. It’s still like that chain reaction or that domino effect towards something huge.

M: This is why, when someone awakens…gains clarity…big events are possible. Big endings or big beginnings and these are simply a catalyst for even more clarity. Clarity and awakening…(shows two fingers and moves them around a little bit) is the same thing.

K: Yesterday, Simon was talking about this line that things live on…as a way to understand the scope of things.

M: (nods) Yes.

K: Are they on the same line or do you consider them the same thing?

M: I consider them the same thing. The scope of that is according to perception. Clarity can seem minimal while awakening…a rather large epiphany. But clarity can be thunderous and create immense change. Is that not the same as awakening?

K: When people find clarity…is it really clear or can it be veiled by what the ego deems as clarity?

M: (slow smile and points to his temple) Ah. You see. You understand. Yes. Clarity can be veiled but so can awakenings.

K: How so?

M: Because the action of veiled clarity is reaction. It is reactionary. It is not responsive. Being responsive to what the awakening has revealed takes into account the highest and best of all. Reactionary is revenge or retaliation. It is survival and protecting one’s own interests.

K: Ah. Got it.

M: The pause distinguishes which is which. Is it awakening or is it the revolution. The revolution will ultimately lead to a pause, but it is a pause to experience the consequence of a reaction.

K: Wow. Okay…now you sound like a philosopher. Thanks, teach.

M: (chuckles) When you think back on some of your actions…what happens?

K: Sometimes it’s this cringy feeling like…ouch. What was I thinking.

M: Because the action was reactionary. What about when you look back at the responses?

K: Like if I were to respond and not react to something or someone?

M: (nods) Yes. Precisely.

K: I feel growth. I feel maturity. Sort of like…it’s easier to let go. If it’s not for me, it’s not for me. It was a learning curve for sure and I still have my moments. I blame John.

M: (grins and chuckles) Yes. For anyone, the outcome of that maturity is a deeper sense of value. There is a deeper sense of worth. There is an understanding of what is right for someone and what is wrong but it’s because you have experienced the right and the wrong to know what it is to you. That comes with clarity. That comes with awakening. That comes with spiritual maturity, and it shows up in many valuable ways. In what you do, how you work, how you connect. One is able to see like the eagle. The eagle can fly, and it can land…perch and simply observe. It observes from sky. It observes from the land. The eagle is the great observer.

K: Then what’s the raven?

M: The raven is the magic. It is the seer. It’s eye travels through time, realms, and realities that not everyone is aware of. It is the master of the great libraries.

K: So cool! Then what are you?

M: (chuckles and looks away, stroking his beard and thinking) Am I not an owl to you?

K: Meh. Too obvious.

M: (chuckles) Hhhmmm…That is something to think about.

K: Totally an owl. You’re right. It’s the owl.

M: Peacock?

K: As if. (laughing and shaking my head) You hated showing off. You did it because it was part of the job.

M: (grins) Mintaka was a wonderful world. So much light. (gets excited thinking about it) 

K: What if you just thought about it and created it again?

M: I don’t believe it’s ever been truly destroyed. Only moved.

K: Changed.

M: Yes.

K: Honestly, I don’t even know what to call this talk.

M: It will come. Pause. Clarity will come. (stares at me with so much love) Have a beautiful and wonderous day.

K: You too.

M: I will take my leave, little one. Much to do. Much to see.

K: I bet. You’re always on the move.

M: I am. There is so much. So much. Goodbye now.

K: Bye. Love you.

M: Oh, little one, that is clear.

K: Ha, ha. Hilarious.

M: If I were to quantify and compete, I would say that I love you more.

K: Do you compete though?

M: No. My heart is on my sleeve.

K: Very true. See you soon.

M: Yes. We will. Soon.

Stands, walks slowly towards a backstage. Gone.

Images shown are representational and experiential rather than historical.